A self-indulgent, reflective post

If there's one thing I don't like, it's being self-indulgent.  And when I say that, I really mean, I don't like being perceived as a self-indulgent guy who makes most circumstances and events about me.  In reality, I do things for my own gain all the time, but I also think I am most satisfied when the bigger picture is before me and visible. When I am a small part of something awesome going on. I had a going away party this week with around 25 good friends from the city I live in and made, what felt like, an uninspiring minute and a half speech thanking everyone for coming and investing in me.  I'm glad it was really low key and that no one presented me with anything over the top and that no one was expecting me to shed any tears.

This post will probably end up going against all of these things.

For 4 of the last 5 years, I've lived across the ocean working with a mission I heartily agree with and am motivated by.  The 1 year I wasn't here in Asia, I worked with the Asian students at UNC doing many of the same things I do here, building movements of students who sacrificially love Jesus and want to see their peers know God.

Pretty heavy stuff, huh?  That's really what I signed up for when I came over here.  When I prayed about my decision to do this for the long haul.  These were the things I prayed for.  When I write my memoirs as an old man, I want to have stories of transformation on college campus, and more importantly, in the hearts of formerly lost students.

I'm ecstatic to get married soon and transition into life with a nicer-smelling and prettier roommate (sorry Harrison...), but part of me will certainly mourn the things I'm leaving here.  What I thought I'd mourn the most would be the memories of students fellowship meetings or Bible studies I'd led, or freshmen guys breaking down in repentance, or preaching to groups of people who have scarcely heard of Jesus.  But the things I'll really miss the most for now are found in the picture below.

That's right, eating exotic (often mediocre) Asian food in dirty restaurants with my peers.  Waxing philosophical about communism in education and venting about frustrations communicating in a foreign language where so many things are lost in translation. Complaining to waitresses that the rice STILL hasn't come out and to each other that "this is good, but it's not as good as ______ (some other exotic, slightly less mediocre place they know of)." People-watching as partially senile vegetable vendors clang on bells soliciting to wealthy cadres, still buzzed from their 3-hour long lunches.  And above all, just being normal American dudes living as pilgrims in a strange land, enjoying the company of people who "get you" in ways your friends on campus just can't.

"You come for the mission, but stay for the people," my friend said recently.  I think he was very right. The kingdom of God is like many things in the Gospels, but one of which is a mustard seed.  A small, unsightly and unimposing sprouting seed that can produce the greatest harvests.  That is to say, sometimes the things you don't expect to make the biggest differences in a Christian's life are the ones that end up making you the most committed to Jesus.  I thought it would be ministry success at first that kept me coming back for more, but in the end it was guys like on my crew and the ones who eat at dirty restaurants with me.  They've done more to encourage me in the Great Commission than any number of ministry successes I could point to as my own.  

What a difference a year makes

I don't have amnesia from head trauma and I haven't had an onset case of early age dementia. I realize the last time I blogged was almost 11 months ago. Not real sure why it's taken me this long to get back to it, but it might have something to do with a whirlwind summer last year and then being busy on skype a lot calling back to the US several times a week. But I'll give a quick update for all my faithful readers (Mom and...well really just mom) who thought this was a lost cause.

Since the last time I posted:

-Moved into a new apartment. This one is more secluded, with more construction around it, closer to campus and with about 1/10 of the water supply of my last place. They shut it off now for all but about 2 or 3 hours a day. Welcome to the developing (...kinda) third world!

-Ran through about 4 Chinese teachers. Some realized they were severely underpaid by our school. Others had other programs to enter themselves. The one I'm stuck with now has drunk dialed me twice in the last week.

-I came back to the US twice for brief stints (once to take classes and once to recruit people to our short-term program here with the company I'm with.

And really everything else revolves around meeting Karen Sharp on the first of those stints, then proposing to her 6 months later in North Carolina after my recruiting time. So now I'm back in China for just over another month. Trying to help my lovely fiancee figure out how to plan for the future from several thousand miles away and set a new course for both of our lives. I honestly don't have much work in this process compared to her so I've tried to do the easy stuff like getting a couple guest lists together, planning the honeymoon, unleashing the great power of my mom to help plan the events in NC.

Karen is, among many other things, a literary genius so I'll have to decide soon if we should make a blog together or if I should keep this my thing and let her write our prayer letters, which she apparently loves doing. I really hit the jackpot.

Hope to post more soon, especially now with things winding down and eras shifting in the next two months.

The last few weeks.

A few highlights and lowlights.

-Highlight: Securing a new apartment right across the street from campus. It's massive and cheap and keeps us from riding 20 minutes to class every day back and forth, but it's essentially a concrete shell right now with nothing finished or hooked up.

-Lowlight: Realizing that this sparsely populated, newly built apartment complex won't set up gas lines or telephone/internet service until 70 PERCENT of people have moved in. Why? Probably to save a few bucks, but I think it's just an attempt to anger the other tenets who already signed contracts like we

did.

-Highlight: Got to take a class in the city for a week and stayed with my good friends David and Marianne Dean and their 2 year old, Sarah, who I have been trying to win her approval since I

was in China over 2 years ago. I think I made some headway when I got a text the week af

ter telling the story of how she would point at the chair I sat in for breakfast every morning and say how it was my chair.

-Lowlight: She would say "That's Danielle's chair!" Real mature, David. Though as we discussed earlier, it is much funnier if you think of it as something she's saying on purpose to get under my skin. Kinda like this. In a related lowlight, David and Marianne are leaving soon (and Sarah

too I guess) after almost 7 years (I think...) here in China. David and Marianne have been here the entire time time I have and have been great friends who have helped make life in China much more livable for me. They will certainly be missed!

-Highlight: My birthday this past week. I spent the actual day in another city nearby for a men's weekend where we played baseball in this country where few people actually know what that word means. But we got to take batting practice, field grounders and have an overall time of

crowing and showing off from our glory days in high school where we all threw 95mph and hit tape measure homers.

-Lowlight: Not getting a chance to brushback Gunter and Gregory from the mound. It was all weak sauce pitching from behind an L-screen.

-Highlight: Celebrating with (most of) my American friends here. The Shelleys were gone to

Beijing already to have their baby, but the rest of us did my favorite thing in the world for me:

cancelling meetings to do something fun. Instead, we went to this Thai restaurant in the middle

of nowhere that also had a driving range. Team Jung made a cake with the 4 kids from The

Wire on it (they recently had their Wire addiction cut short by the series

ending and this was the best way to get their fix I think) and the fam

ous line from Marlo Stanfield, "MY NAME IS MY NAME!" It was

awesome. We spent most of the night trying to hit the ball-

recovery cars on the range instead of being

serious, but it was a great night overall and I was glad to spend it with friends here so far away from my family and friends.

-Lowlight: Had to say good bye to Chad and Kristy McGhee as they go back to the US to have their baby as well. Chad has been a good friend since I was a freshman and has always been a guy with great advice. You might be noticing a trend here, how one of the hardest things about living here long term and being in that mindset constantly is that people often come and go. It can be hard saying goodbye so often. Obviously I haven't experienced that a whole lot, but I'm starting to realize how hard it can be.

-Highlight: Getting to see my brother! He got here on Wednesday with some friends to study for the summer at my school and though we havent had much time to hang out yet, I can't wait to make him eat weird foods and show him what life is like out here. He brought a big suitcase of stuff for me, so I've had a few meals consisting of beef jerky and gummy bears already.

-Lowlight: Some of you know that on that same day, I got a message that my mom had been rushed to the hospital because she was pretty seriously anemic. No one really knows exactly whats going on, but she's had at least one transfusion so far and is awaiting some test results. I've normally seen my mom as someone who's pretty invincible, who can handle anything no matter what and it was pretty sobering to realize that even though I have no control over anyone's health, even my own, that being far away from home is really tough in times like this. I can't just hop in a car to go see her and the best I can do is just call a bunch.

We've been praying for her a lot this week and ask that we continue doing so as she's still recovering from a pretty serious hit and isn't yet back to normal. But she IS recovering and the Lord is helping both Matt and I lean more on him and has protected us from a lot of destructive thoughts and worry that really amount to nothing except bitterness and anxiety. Mom just got home recently, and will be recovering (hopefully without trying to push it...) for the next few days and weeks. Thanks to those of you who support me and my family by praying for us in times like this!

McTucky Fried Chicken and our new places.

If you know anything about me, it's that I love getting up after staying up late. Last night was no exception. I stayed awake for the ACC Tournament which started at 1am our time and ended around 3:15 in the am. It was totally worth it, watching Carolina pull off the greatest postseason comeback in our storied history. With Harrison gone to the north this weekend, my even more unbridled yelling during games was heightened that much more. So for the first 30 minutes of the game there was a lot of new vocabulary I'm sure my neighbors two floors above me learned in English. The last ten minutes were, if you watched it, incredible, as we turned it on and left all the Miami players we didn't recruit from North Carolina laying on the floor in the fetal position.

So after the game, a couple phone calls to my brother Matt and another couple failed explanatory YouTube videos sent between us later, its 4am and I send a text to Jarred telling him I'm not gonna be able to meet up with him to go look for new apartments the next morning.

But somehow, I can't sleep past 8:30 am (like every day now...) and end up meeting he, Shelley and Lindsey over at the massive (and empty) apartment complexes that are near the schools we all frequent on a daily basis.

Where we live now is about 5-7km away from where we do work, take class, and meet Chinese students. It's a pain to have to ride our scooters 20 minutes each way every day, not to mention the danger involved with poorly made Chinese trucks, our low powered scooters, u

nfinished roads and of course, the water trucks that spray the roads daily to the tune of "It's a Small World." We plan to move next to campus sometime in the summer, which means we have to start now so that we can have landlords BEGIN work on the insides.

I wish I had some pictures, but there are about 30-50 buildings (my guessing skills arent good so that's why I gave a large range...) in the middle of nowhere, each about 25 stories tall. Each school in the University City is no more than a 5 minute scooter ride away, with some in walking distance. No one really lives there yet, but there is lots of construction and people finishing the insides of places. Most rooms are still just concrete shells, often with standing water in the bathrooms. All of them have non-sensical designs for power outlets and plumbing stuff. And normally are accompanied by a nervous landlord, eager to make us foreigners think that they know what they're doing.

My three friends showed me 3 different places and told me all the advantages of each place. I had no idea and would've maybe thought about 10% of the stuff they mentioned on m

y own. I think I'm gonna get a place next to Jarred and Shelley's so that we can make a zipline that attaches to each of our balconies. They are really long balconies, so I think my top priority is being able to glide over, Flight of the Gibbon style to the Jungs to play cornhole 15 stories up in the air.

After about 3 hours of looking, considering new things, looking some more, texting to pass the time, looking at more concrete shells, and thinking about how to actually construct a zipline, hunger overtook us and we went down to the only restaurant that looked like it was really open for service, DangMaiJi.

DangMaiJi is a bootleg restaurant. Like most things in China, there aren't many copyright laws. So what they did was fuse McDonald's (called MaiDangLao) and KFC (called KenDeJi) in an unholy marriage of illegal fast food. Sometimes (like in GuiYang) there are bootlegs of places that aren't even popular among foreigners. Dico's, a KFC knockoff, was copied and became VBico's, possibly because the marketing expert couldn't type in English or had Tourrette's.

But by 3:30pm, lunch at DangMaiJi sounded pretty good, so we got some "Mexican" wraps, made with sweet and sour sauce, chicken wings, fries and Pepsi and ended our day of apartment hunting. We raved on and on about how glad we were that it was there near our soon-to-be new places, often mentioning the low prices (13RMB or about 2 dollars for a combo meal). The menu was 4 times larger than a normal Mickey D's in the states, including things like Shrimp Burgers, chicken on a stick, soft serve ice cream, egg custard, Cornish Game Hens (next Thanksgiving? Only 18RMB a piece...), and of course, jelly drinks.

Overall, it was a pretty good Saturday. And a nice look into the future here at the University City.

Two things that make me grieve

1. The latest Rick Reilly column on ESPN.com. Ryan and I were talking at dinner recently about this story about the female wrestler named Cassy in Iowa and how her 16 year old male opponent, Joel, forfeited the match in the state tournament (in Iowa, where wrestling state championships make you a demi-god) because of his faith and a strong conviction not to engage in combat with women. It started out as a "You're either a Reilly or a Simmons fan, but not both," but ended up as a lament against journalistic ridiculousness and Reilly himself. The next morning, I was a few minutes late to leave for the International Fellowship because I read the article and was moved to respond to Reilly in a strongly worded email reply to him that I'm sure he'll never read.

I'll summarize his position (though I'm sure you can find the full article on ESPN.com). Reilly claims that his religious conviction not to engage a girl in this sport is stupid on that this is a tom-boy who wants and should be treated like an equal on the mat. Fair enough. But what he refuses to indulge is the perspective of religious conviction, mainly because, well he doesn't "get it." So what is his response? A sophomoric retort in which he employs middle school debate team tactics seen below:

"Does any wrong-headed decision suddenly become right when defended with religious conviction? In this age, don't we know better? If my God told me to poke the elderly with sharp sticks, would that make it morally acceptable to others?"

The boy who forfeited is both home-schooled and the son of a Pentacostal minister. Mr. Reilly, who has had a column for many years both with Sports Illustrated and ESPN.com, clearly doesn't have the taste for doing good research down with the grunt-level reporters anymore. He couldn't care less about what it means to have a real belief that forces you to action in the "secular" world and not just on Sundays and in the confessional booth. He just thinks it's stupid that a boy doesn't want to fight and used his faith as a reason.

What makes this story worse is the end, where he belittles Joel for his foolishness of forefeiting and his weeping after being outed in the consolation round two matches later.

"I don't feel as bad for Cassy as I do for Joel. He was the fifth-ranked wrestler in the state at 112 pounds. He was 35-4. He had a chance to win the whole thing. In Iowa, that means a lifetime of people buying you lunch. It's corn-state royalty. To give all that up to protect a girl who loathes being protected? What a waste of a dream.

The last I saw Northrup, he was crying. After the default, he entered the consolation round, where he won his first match, then lost a heartbreaker in overtime, 3-2. He jogged past the scrum of reporters waiting to talk to Cassy, tears streaming down his face, unnoticed. He was done, with no chance to medal.

Neither he, nor his coaches, nor his dad, had any comment. He was reportedly on his way back home to Marion, Iowa, where his mom was about to deliver her eighth child.

For the kid's sake, I hope it's a boy."

To mock a 16 year old from the press box and ivory tower? What a show of cowardice and ignorance. He has no idea what it means to live by conviction, much less a code of any kind. He can't even give credence to Joel's father's statement of having an elevated and respected view of women. Instead, he writes a column that takes a strong position against tolerance to get more web page hits.

Griever #2: The end of Season 4 in the Wire. I'll try not to give much away, but I watched last night with the Jungs, who started watching it last semester sometime. This season chronicles four 8th graders in West Baltimore who are teetering on the edge. On one side is the drug trade where they can choose to be "corner boys," selling heroin to junkies for the promise of getting rich and moving up the ladder. On the other is choosing to live the life of school and constructive energy and making a life for themselves in the "legitimate" world.

Naman is the outspoken, brash, and cocky one who's father, "Wee Bey," is in jail on two life sentences for his role in a drug trade murder a few years ago. He lives in opulance because of his father's unwillingness to snitch on the big bosses. The bosses have put Naman and his mother up in a lavish apartment and he plays the role of the spoiled rich kid, yet while living in the inner city.

Michael is the quiet, but strong enforcer of the group. He has a natural talent for boxing and is being taught at a local community center by an ex-con who turned his life around and left "The Game." He lives alone with his kid brother, Bug, and is a responsible parent figure at the tender age of 13. He is the all around good guy and protects the weaker friends at school from bullies.

Randy is the businessman of the group, the trickster. He buys candy and chips in bulk and resells them in the lunch room to the younger kids. He is always thinking up get-rich-quick schemes that don't involve drugs and is a leader when the kids are out playing. His parents are both dead or have left and has grown up in the dreaded group homes in foster care, often where abuse is rampant for him as a smaller, younger kid living with rougher orphans.

Then there is Duquan, or "Dookie." His mother is a dope fiend and they have been evicted from even the housing projects multiple times. He is known at school for being especially poor, rarely showering and being the runt who is easily picked on. However, Dookie has a penchant for school, where he excels in math. He is constantly teased though for his nappy hair and tattered clothes and is often tempted to find ways to get money in any way possible.

Through a series of murders and drug deals gone bad, the four boys are each tempted by the drug game while mentors, teachers, and parent figures pull the other side of the tug of war, fighting for their innocence and the redemption of their toilsome, young lives. Some have to decide between "snitchin'" and letting murders go unpunished. Ultimately some will find redemption and others will be pulled down into the system.

The fact that these are children makes it especially hard to watch sometimes. The Wire is my favorite drama of all time, but this can be a gut wrenching and gritty part. It will make you wonder, "How long, O Lord?" and consider the reality of many inner-city injustices, corruption, politics, and the condition of the human heart.

Rivendell to Mordor

Every year my friends and I here get the wonderful chance to visit and be refreshed by the kingdom of Thailand for about a month. Our Chinese friends at school all go home for Spring Festival and Chinese New Year which lasts from mid January through to the beginning of March usually. Every year we love the break from Chinese winter into the eternal summer of Thailand.

Really, the only appropriate metaphor for Thailand is the Elven city of Rivendell from Lord of the Rings. Most of us come there, limping in from the last semester, missing our families in America, ready to do anything except what we've been doing continuously for the last month of December, having lots of Christmas parties, studying for exams, etc. We find western food, are given lots of encouragement, people remind us how great the vision we have here is and we see a new culture. A new culture that we see as liberating and free.

Instead of having to bust your way through a busy restaurant to order, mercilessly cutting some and boxing out other patrons, they have lines that are commonly accepted and used. Instead of cafeteria noodles, we're eating the likes of pad thai, Mexican food, and Krispy Kreme (though I only had 2 KK donuts, the fact its there is comforting enough). No longer do we have to ride battery powered scooters, but we rent motorbikes with real gas engines and real power for really cheap. Everyone understands a good amount of English there too so we don't have to rack our brains every time we need to ask for daily necessities or buy food.

So of course, it's hard going from this culture we only see good things in, back to wintry China. Why would we want to carry the ring to Mordor, to certain doom, to trials when we've grown accustomed to living with the immortal elves, recovering from injuries, and eating their magical elf donuts?? It's a tough thing remembering the 85 degree weather every day when its cold and rainy and your hot water heater still hasnt arrived yet. It's tougher still when you have less time to read, fewer friends to talk with, less time for the timeless tales passed down from generation to generation here in our Chinese ex-pat sub-culture.

Nevermind all the annoyances of Thailand. The constant nagging of massage parlors and ladyboy prostitutes. The living out of a suitcase for a month. The countless scarrings from European vacationers wearing speedos too tight or, even worse, speedos too loose. These things seem minor to us while we're there because it's nice to idealize a place as perfect for a while.

But God didn't give us Thailand so he could bring Heaven on earth and have everyone move there. Just like Rivendell wasn't created solely as an end in itself. They are what they are. Just an oasis of refreshment so that we can remember and refocus on what we're doing here in the distance between the Shire and our destiny. To remind us that God is good to those who love him and are called according to his purposes and that he blesses men abundantly. And to remind us that brokenness and unbelief are a temporary thing in this world that is passing away. Soon, in the coming age, we will have all the Krispy Kreme we can handle.

Willage People

There are a number of blogs I subscribe to right now. Many of whom mirror the lives of us who are living in the aftermath of the Christmas Season. Maybe it was all the Chinese cake and cookies that made me sluggish, but I think I'll forego the commonalities of a Christmas post with descriptions of what we ate, the standard tree photo, and the tacky sweaters everyone wore.

-Here's the gist of it: we had Christmas dinner and it tasted good. Then we opened presents and they were nice.

Then we had a week where none of our students called us back because

they are in "2012 Mode." In this instance, I mean exams are approaching, but it can refer to just a panic mode since every student I've talked to thinks the world is ending in 2012 thanks to the movie that just came out a year or two ago. Rational students who can't accept that God could exist believe in this superstition. Even many Christians think that we'll go down in a blaze of prophetic world catastrophes next year...because the Mayans said so...

-Last week, we had a class with a traveling professor from the States. Most of what we talked about was Philosophy. It was great, but it made me want to watch The Matrix more than

anything. I'm more and more convinced that lots of media and popular culture we as Christians grasp onto as Biblical analogy is not really that at all. The Matrix is so Platonic its crazy. And also very Gnostic with a little bit of whatever the Wachowski brothers ascribe to. But still a great movie and I want another opportunity soon to count how many times I think Keanu is thinking about String Theory while delivering his lines.

Right after this exhausting class in which my brain fried the first day, I rode my moped an hour back to the Gong, then got up the next morning to go to the village. "Village" is a common term used here. It can be a place where farming is done without 1st world ammenities. It can be used as an adjective, as in "that guy who just hocked a loogey on the street is so village" to mean someone not accustomed to civilized society. Additionally, normally when spoken in English by Chinese people, it comes out as "willage" which always elicits a chuckle from us still. As do when they talk about cooking "wegetables," "D-Wee-D's," and "Wee-C-D's." Real mature, I know.

Our helper invited us out about every week so we decided to go there. Our van broke down on the way (pretty standard) on the 4 hour trek there. The "roads" were nothing more than dirt mostly and roads that looked like they had survived a nuclear holocaust. It was a like scene from The Book of Eli except that the surrounding mountains were lush with vegetation still.

So upon arrival, we were surprisingly ignored. It was a mostly Cool village so I think they had either seen white people before or had been heavily coached (...threatened) not to smother us laowai by our helper. We looked around at the farm animals everywhere and the vast vineyards and gardens. We saw our helpers parents house which had just been furnished with som

e new furniture just for us. It was...colorful...

Then we jumped all over the chance to help with dinner. When asked to help kill the chickens we went to the back of the village to prepare "The Kill Room." Much different than Dexter Morgan, though we did use a cleaver (as seen). Josh and I were the only ones willing (or twisted enough) to confront our Dark Passenger and test our fortitude.

The trick was to first pin back the wings and pluck the neck feathers out pull the neck skin tight and... well I'll spare the rest of the details. All I know that it was simultaneously terrifying, exhilarating, and a little embarrassing since one of the chickens Josh and I "killed" started flopping around in the de-feathering pot after the initial shock wore off. I think this is the first thing I have killed other than bugs and having to hold it over the lake while its life left it was strange. I kept whispering to myself "circle of life, circle of life, circle of life" and remembering other lessons from The Lion King while I did it. It helped remembering this was the village where they laugh at you for not knowing how to gut animals.

Overall the people there were very nice. Many of the men were skeptical

of us and didn't show a lot of smiles, but they were glad we came I think. They treated us to the best parts of the pig that had been slaughtered earlier and described every dish to us even though we eat many of them every day here.

I've left out a lot of details that made it a hard day in an attempt to remember the village fondly. And also so I don't village up a lot of the rest of my time in China until I leave for Thailand soon.

(photos courtesy of Harrison)

Cake and Carols

December around here is known as Christmas Party Season. It sounds fun and mostly really is, but one of the downsides of having lots of students and teachers over to our apartments/meeting them on campus is that you get inundated with certain things.

Two of these things are Cake and Carols. Two things that God created for good that often are result of the fall here in China. When you think of "cake" you think of birthdays, weddings, retirement parties where everyone is happy that at least they get a piece of that chocolate, yellow, or coconut goodness. Everyone waits patiently for theirs, excitedly scarfing it down upon arrival. Well, except for Milton.

However, over here, you pretty much always have a cake gifted to you that is quite different. The type of cake you end up trying to avoid eating, pushing it back and for the plate like a toddler avoiding eating peas, trying to be sneaky by confusing motion for eating. Many times there is fruit on top. Mangos, oranges, bananas, kiwis, etc. Not only that, sometimes pinto beans and others. Sometimes melon. Often times there is cream in the middle that can make even the strongest of stomachs gag. The icing is normally bland because Chinese dont really like sweets as much as us.

Many of these things are good, but mixed together they get old fast. You try to separate the fruit from the cake, but that's futile too. And you have to eat SOME of it since normally its a student/teacher being polite and spending their own money to add to the party.

The other thing is carols. They are great, but after the 27th singing of Silent Night, you begin to just yearn for silence and can forget about that Silent Night the Savior was born. Many of these carols help us get in the Christmas spirit, making us thankful and humble. It does that, through the lyrics, yes, but also from trying to sing fast lyrics in Mandarin.

I may sound like a Scrooge or a Grinch, but I don't think I have the capacity to sing the same songs several times a week, no matter how good or catchy it is. Thankfully there are different seasons and different ways to worship Jesus, not all of which include Away in a Manger or Red Bean and Apple Cream Cake.

I'll have to start looking for some John Piper-approved, Christ-glorifying, Man-satisfying Festivus songs and some less confused cake types around here.

All I want for Christmas and other strange things here.

Here it is Mom and Dad, the only thing I want for Christmas. With all the hassle of shipping (not to mention the unreliability of postal workers in China who have been known to lose packages and remove what are deemed to be "dangerous" things from them...) I've found the thing that you can get me this year. No, your eyes do not deceive you. This is right up there with GOB Bluth's "The Sword of Destiny" bought from Ancient Chinese Secret as themost ancient and powerful of Chinese relics.

It may appear to be a cabbage plant made of jade. And yes, technically that's what it is, but I am convinced that it is so much more. Maybe it was owned by a Qin dynasty emporer. Maybe having it in your house releases the power to grow other cabbages rapidly within a small radius. Or maybe it's like the Chinese equivalent of the seeing stones in Lord of the Rings that Sauroman uses to see into the future.

Whatever it is, it's reasonably priced for a limited time only at 30,000 RMB or US $4500. So I know its got a genie in it or something like that. I haven't bought it just yet, but every time I pass it in the store above the KFC in the mall nearby, it calls to me. It yearns to find its master (me). I'm thinking I'll put it in our living room next to our shoe cabinet.

In other news, I found this out a while ago, but forgot to post it. Here is proof that Chinese

cafeterias, in addition to noodles, fried rice and Kung Pao Chicken, also sell beer in large quantities. Here is the proof. I haven't seen anyone drinking it there in the cafeteria yet, or really buying it, but it's there, just waiting for the first bold student to buy one. Maybe

everyone else is just waiting so they won't stick out. As the old Chinese proverb goes, "the stalk that sticks out, must be cut off."

In more other news, we have a Christmas party tonight. I'm wearing a nice shirt so that I can get a really moving picture of me and a bunch of Chinese students wearing Santa hats. It's long been my dream to have a magnet that I distribute to friends and family with my face on it and I think the time is now. My brother, Matt already has one and beat me to the punch. It looks like he only has one arm though due to the way he's posed, leaning up against the Old Well on campus. I'm gonna try my best not to make that same mistake. So pray for my beard to not look weird or for me to have something in my teeth.

Start of the holiday season

Here's another smattering of happenings recently that I can remember now. It's now December, typically the most difficult time to be here in China, apart from family and friends during the holiday season. I miss everyone reading this (except for you, US Army private who keeps leaking cables on Wiki sites...I could do without you.) and hope that you are enjoying the sights and sounds of Christmas, even the things like the traffic, the mall smell, the clamor of Black Friday and Cyber Monday, the Salvation Army bell ringers, the santa hats and the excessive quoting of "Elf." Think of me when you experience these things.

-Class has been interesting. During our conversation portion today we had a discussion about FaZhan ShouZu (Arrested Development) which I never thought would happen in another language. As this is my favorite TV show of all time I thoroughly enjoyed talking about this in Chinese, though trying to describe who Carl Weathers is was more difficult than I anticipated. However, she had no trouble understanding how a family who's father became rich by using his construction company's corporate account as a personal piggy bank. Probably because this happens all the time here with sketchy business practices.

-The cat that Harrison had rescued and had been living with us passed away recently. She just stopped eating for about 4 days and I'll spare you the rest of the details, but it was her time to go I guess. I wish I could tell you that it was without suffering and that it got a proper burial but I'd be lying since both of those things are hard to find in China for animals. Personally I will miss the times when it would get too close to our space heater and jump back, burned by it's own curiosity. I will also miss the certainty of knowing there won't be any rats around our place. Sure, there were about 100 things I hated about that cat, but those two things I will remember with fondness.

-We (the ACC guys here in China) won the Turkey Bowl! It was nice to get revenge from the last time we played when we got blown out and I dropped two interceptions. Mainly I was channeling all my energy with the memory of the SEC team running up the score by throw Tim Tebow jump-passes with less than a minute to go. So this year we won it in style 40-6. The victory stands for now, though I'm worried that Harrison has been hanging around a lot of runners for agents. Recently he posted on Twitter a 200RMB receipt for PF Changs and Justin and Zach I'm pretty sure have been receiving extra help on papers in Chinese class. So we'll see if we'll be able to weather the storm. Either way, the NCAA wont be able to take away the memory of the most fantastic, bizarre, and sublime facial hair I have ever seen. It was a banner year in this department.

-Thanksgiving. We celebrated with Turkey and other dishes that ultimately became so crammed on our plates that it seemed to just become one food item. Delicious. Also, my team made me wear nice clothes during lunch. I hope they're thankful for that. We also tried to watch an old Thanksgiving Day NFL game (mainly failed though) with the likes of Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin, et al. For Max, the Jungs' dog who has bitten me twice now, we let him run in the park near by and let him wallow in the mud while we threw the football around. For the girls, we watched Elf for what I'm sure was the 1st of 13 times before Christmas Day. If I've learned one thing, its that December is just as much Elf Season as it is Christmas Season. I personally celebrate by telling someone that "you're so pretty, you should be on a Christmas card" once a day. I think Josh thinks it's weird and it makes him uncomfortable.

-Work is going really well too. Can't share many details here, but I have lots of friends here who like asking me about important things.

-The Jungs are hooked on The Wire now! Jarred bought a Glock and a doo-rag while Shelley's language has gotten noticeably coarser and talks constantly about how weak "the product" is lately. Expect more posts about this as promised in the "about me" sidebar.

What's been going down lately

Brief (maybe...) update with a few snapshots (figurative, not literal...sorry) of the past few weeks.

-We lost power for 2 days. This means candles, flashlights, and cell phone backlights lit our way throughout our apartment. It also meant no hot water (ie starting a new, no showering streak), no laundry, no heaters, and most importantly no internet. That's right. For 2 whole arduous days I went without Skype, fantasy football and Words With Friends. Nothing ground breaking really except that I was getting precariously low on clean clothes and may have scared away some people with an unkept appearance.

-The Turkey Bowl beard is in full growth mode. Over a month now and no blade has touched my face. Or neck. Or head. I look a little like Joakin Phoenix during his crazy spell where he tried to convince everyone he didn't care about anything and never wanted to act again. The mullet is also getting annoying and everytime I take the 3 mile ride to class I end up with a windblown, Jared Allen/Patrick Swayze (RIP) level mullet. But anything for the tradition of the Turkey Bowl, where the men of the ACC here in China will look to cold-cock the entitled SEC jabronis on the gridiron every Thanksgiving.

-One of my teachers recently tried to convince me that Mao is the best leader China has ever had and that the Cultural Revolution did more good than harm. You know, since killing millions of people is surely better than some things. A thing??? It got to be a pointless argument and I just ended up letting her feel like she had convinced me. Maybe she is the granddaughter of the late (and terribly preserved...) Chairman. Or maybe her father got some backdoor contracts from his people or something.

-My other teacher is more fun and less political, but she talks a lot about how handsome waiguoren are. I know Chinese people are generally not very direct, but I'm really really hoping this is not as close as they get and its just a coincidence that she always brings this up. I have 10 hours of class per week, one on one with both of these teachers and it's definitely been the hardest part of the year so far. My language hasn't progressed as much as I'd hoped yet since the rust is very slowly wearing off and neither of these teachers have any prior experience.

-We had some friends from America come visit last week who brought us (mainly me due to my connections to some friends in Durham) some awesome gifts. I also found out my brother gets to come visit this summer while he studies for 5 weeks here. He tried to play it all cool like he didn't want to come that badly, but I know Matty and I know that if there's one thing he can't say no to, its living in the sticks, using squatty potties, letting me order dishes which he has no idea what is in them.

-I got in a moped accident. Really it wasnt an accident, more of crappy tires and slick pavement ending in my skidding off. Don't worry, I'm fine, and it even prompted me to buy a helmet. Though I'm not sure I would've gotten one if it was the standard "Boba Fett" masks and not the Speed Racer one I ended up getting for 50RMB (8 US dollars) on the side of the road. Safety first, ya know?

-I've watched a few football games, including last weeks Florida State/UNC game. I woke up at 3:30am and watched the whole thing, which I think may have ended in me waking up Harrison in the next room (though he humbly claims I didn't to let me save face). Totally worth it.

-We have a cat living with us right now. People who know me know I hate cats. I'm pretty sure I've claimed in the past even that cats are in some way responsible for every disease in the world, the Vietnam War, the existence of mosquitos, and the problem of evil itself. At one point I even had a business plan to make bumper stickers with anti-feline propaganda. But Harrison brought it home and I'm trying my hardest to make it work, even though I've already whispered obscenities at it and come close to straight up punting it. I dont trust it at all. We'll see how long it stays.

-I bought tickets for THAILAND, the happiest place on earth (I'm calling shenanigans, Disney World...Athletes should proclaim "I'M GOING TO KOH LANTA!" when they get asked what they're doing after winning the Super Bowl or the World Series). Though filled with disappointments, one awesome perk about being completely single is that this is what I'm calling "an uncapped year." I can have as many fruit shakes on the beach as I want. Married guys have wives who worry about their husbands experiencing too much freedom and/or spending "too much money" (theyre about $1.30 each...). But not me. No woman is holding me back this year.

That's about all I can think of for now. Hope it tides you over, Mom and the other 3 readers I have.

The Pofessor

So I threw a changeup with this one. You could say I was struck by inspiration after class on Monday. Walking out of our classroom I found this beauty of a sign on the door of an administrative wing of the building I was in.

Yes, it reads "Pofessor's Room." If this was in America, it would be on Fail Blog within seconds. But there is no such thing as Fail Blog in China. Probably because these "Fails" are lost on many people here. Also, China Fail Blog would crash the entire internet as we know it within seconds. So it's probably better for all surfers of the interwebs that this doesn't yet exist.

When I read this, I thought, "what is the hidden or double meaning here?" Could it just be a simple typo or misspelling? Probably, but that makes for a boring blog post and its more fun to think about someone purposefully writing it like this.

My first thought was they put it up there in protest. Po'fessors banded together and decided to show the world that they are under-appreciated and can barely provide for their families under their current cheapskate employers in the university system. As in the teachers union is "potesting" (HA!) the low salaries they receive for the long hours they work, often times doubling as Chinese students' surrogate mothers and fathers while off at college. One time I heard that my teacher couldn't answer a question after class because she had to immediately go and make sure that a student was keeping his room clean. True story. Think about that next time there's a teachers strike in the US.

The other theory goes that it was someone who thinks teachers are a little too uppity, always riding their high horses, shaming students if they do poorly on a speech or assigning however many pages of a textbook to memorize. Yes you read that correctly. Memorize. Often this is how many students study for a test and it results in incredible memories, but impractical problem solving opportunities and logical learning. So because of this, some guy at the sign factory decided to stick it to their least favorite teachers and made the signs to show foreign students (like yours truly) how poor their English is.

It could just also be a completely new position in the school offices. Another division of paper pushers who perhaps take the thousands of tiny passport photos I've given administrators over the years for visa purposes from one government official to the next in line. Maybe that's why it takes weeks, sometimes months for us to get our passports back.

Daily ridiculous products and slogans: Day 1

One of the major fascinations I've had since living in Asia is finding what I call "Trinket Shops." Maybe "trinket" is a misleading word. After all, this is what you expect to find aboard a pirate ship scattered on the floorboards around a trunk full of Spanish Doubloons.

What I mean by "trinket" is more of just little pieces of junk that are ordinary until you read what is written on them. Whether its a long non-sensical poem on the front of a notebook or some kind of novelty mug that isnt seen as a novelty item among our Asian friends here, these cultural trinkets are everywhere.

My first year here studying, during every class break, I'd go to the nearby convenience store and look for slogans that were found everywhere. One personal favorite was found on a basic composition notebook. It read:

"This is the most Comfortable notebook you have ever run into. You will feel like writing on it all the time."

And you know what? I DID! It really was the most comfortable notebook I had ever run into.

Things like this just make me laugh. You'd think it would wear off after a wh

ile, but it hasn't. I still go into random trinket stores in search of gems like this. So to commemorate this hobby of mine, I figured I'd post some on here along with my best guess as to what commentary can be gleaned from Chinese culture.

This weeks entry (pictured right) comes from a store I found at my old school when I visited last week to see some old friends who I met in 2007. As you can see, they are two coffee mugs side by side. They both have bowl hair cuts and crazy eyes. The lovestruck mug (as evidenced by the hearts in the eyes, blushing nose and the lack of dental care...love can make you do crazy things and neglect hygiene I guess...) mimics one vice that is not only ever-present in the US, but is also an idol here in Asia. In fact, Chinese college guys don't just ask if a girl wants to go on a date. They "profess their love to a girl" often times after only meeting her once or twice. It's like a bad Hugh Grant movie where Savage Garden plays softly in the background. Many Chinese guys can go into deep depression if a girl rejects his love plea.

Mug Number 2 evidences another cultural sin. It's understandable to see this one since it's near my Business and Finance University that I used to attend. This guy though loves money so much he can't help but scream it! As a bonus, the "O" in "MONEY" is a heart. This one is also every where on Chinese campuses. Many times this pursuit of the American Dream specifically drives students to study really hard and often join the Communist Party so that they can be set up with a good job though they are often unfulfilling paper pushing type jobs.

Be sure to check back tomorrow for the next one: The Wilderness Men mug.

Holiday Season

For most of my friends, what we know as the holiday season starts in November with Thanksgiving, continues through to Black Friday until Christmas and New Year's top it off. Most of it is based on shopping and family, but mostly shopping, since that's what TV has conditioned us to frenzy over at this time. And of course food, where we gorge ourselves on Turkey, Ham, dressing, and whatever fast food is at mall food courts.

This year it feels a bit like the holiday season, just drastically different. Though Spring Festival is the biggest holiday here and not until February, two other major holidays are happening now in our midst here. ZhongQiuJie (Mid-Autumn Festival) was last week and is akin to Thanksgiving. A short 2 day holiday weekend that is mostly about food (gross moon cakes, filled with ham, fruit, egg or tofu) and a tradition of looking at the moon at night to remember family that can't be present as they are also most likely staring at the moon remembering you. It's a nice, quaint tradition.

Today is GuoQingJie. Otherwise known as "New China Day" or "Chinese Independence from the Capitalist Roaders of the Kuomingtang and the Counter-Revolutionary, Chiang Kai-Chek, and the Harmonious Opening of the People's Republic of China." So the last one I made up, but it is essentially our July 4th. Students get from October 1st-October 7th off to celebrate. I am celebrating by doing some traveling and remembering why America is so great. This year, I'm skipping a lot of the Mao-love and taking it as an opportunity to study for language class and relax a bit as many students will be at home with their families (maybe looking at the moon together this time).

One of the interesting parts about this holiday (and every other holiday here) is that students have to "BuKe." Literally, we all have to make up classes that we miss for, you guessed it, the holidays that we are given off. This often means going to class on Saturdays and Sundays before and after the holidays. This has yet to make sense to me.

If there's one way to get people to hate you it's to make them work on holidays. Look at every Christmas movie. The reason a main character is either the miser or the victim, its because they have to work on Christmas Eve. Scrooge, Elf's real dad, Jimmy Stewart, (not to mention when Lumburgh makes Peter work on Saturday and Sunday in Office Space...yeeeeaaaah...) they all are shown to be cruel/be down on their luck because of this holiday work clause (no pun intended). And yet, my neighbors here haven't seemed to learn this lesson yet. Why not just not have a holiday and let people keep their weekends? Wouldn't it cause less resentment for 8 hour class days on Sunday weren't happening? Wouldn't it make you dread the holiday season knowing that you'd have to cram in more class soon after? You'd think it'd be better to align everyone with New China to have them look forward to the opportunity to play Warcraft 24 hours in a row at the net bars instead of studying beginner's English during that time.

But what do I know? They've done it this way for a long time and I'm not about to go changing everyone's paradigms of what's normal. This is definitely a case of "It's not wrong, just different" that I keep having to get used to.

Acquiring Normalcy

One of the major things I've learned in about 2 years in Asia so far is that "Normal" is elastic. In America, "Normal" for me is burgers and spaghetti, not rice noodles and kung pao chicken. It's driving around in my 2000 Saturn SL (RIP) on highways and lined roads, not zipping around on a moped, praying I don't get hit by an overloaded dump truck (don't worry, it hasn't happened yet, and I've gotta be one of the top moped drivers in all of China...so no worries there). "Normal" is watching football on Saturdays at noon, not midnight. "Normal" in America is living in the suburbs with my mom around to help give me old furniture they don't have room for anymore, not coming into a shell of an apartment and having to furnish it myself, with my severe lack of interior design skills (I had to ask someone for the term of arranging furniture and knowing what matches and what doesn't).

Since being back this time, some normalcies I had in America have vanished, some have been adapted and contextualized, and some I have dragged over in an overweight carry-on bag on the plane. However, one of those things that was impossible to adapt (see the previous post about the pretty pretty princess light fixtures...) or maintained was how our apartment here feels and my lack of having to do things like pick out fabrics for a couch or how to arrange furniture in an aesthetically pleasing way which is welcoming to visitors.

When I was here my first year, I had a bad experience. And when I say a bad experience, I mean like one rivaling the time I got judo-chopped by an Amazon of a 10 year old girl during a school project, which caused a neck spasm that left me with my head leaning to one side the rest of the day.

Yes, I'm talking about my first time in IKEA here in China

. That time, I was going in out of curiosity (mainly from Fight Club where Brad Pitt calls Edward Norton "IKEA-boy"), not to buy anything. And it felt like Dante's description of the 3rd of hell. Yuppies were everywhere. The place is built like the Labyrinth (1st every David Bowie reference in a blog!). And the hotdogs they sold made me sick to my stomach while I was waiting for the girls to saunter through admiring every thing. I'm pretty sure we were only there for 2 hours, but it felt like 2 weeks. I had lost my mind and had pretty much become ferrel, ready to do whatever it took to survive in that island of trendiness.

This time, it wasn't IKEA, but it was an IKEA knockoff. As in, they stole the floor plan, furniture setup, uniforms, colors, and snack restaurant from IKEA. If it was in America, where intellectual property laws actually exist, it would've been burned to the ground by repo men and the owners of Furniture 11 (at least they changed the name significantly) would be locked in jail next to Bernie Madoff and become the Carlos Mencia of yuppie furniture retailers. But this is China, and knockoffs are everywhere.

When I went, Jarred and Shelley played the role of my mom (though I really tried hard to make them think I knew what I was talking about) and helped Adam and I pick out some really good stuff. A man-sized couch I can completely stretch out on (unlike beds here, unless you count when you sleep diagonally on the mattress), a two seater, an alpha-dog single seater and an accompanying ottoman longer than any I've ever seen. I paid for it and then waited over a week for it to be delivered to our place out in the sticks. Below is how it arrived upon delivery...in course rice bags that that were kinda dirty and impossible to open with human strength.

Then, much to my chagrin, I realized there was no fabric on them...which made me think, as often happens, the delivery men forgot something or were misinformed by 12 layers of middlemen who were supposed to deliver the simple message. Thankfully another commonality of communism factored in. The fabric covers arrived 20 minutes later by separate delivery men in a trashbag. Disaster averted. Though my roommate Harrison probably wouldn't have noticed, we would've been stuck trying to convince ourselves that this is how all furniture in China is set up (though surprisingly, without the standard plastic wrap left on it for years).Then the gentlemen assembled the furniture, after I asked them not to smoke their cheap cigarettes in my house. This caused lots of whispering in their local dialect which most Mandarin speakers cant understand either. I'm pretty sure

they resented me for not letting me smoke on the job.

I tried to make conversation and offer them some drinks, but I REALLY wasn't able to buy them off for being their human nicotine patch. They grew more shady by the minute, especially when they went into separate rooms to assemble stuff. So far I have yet to notice anything broken or missing or any cigarette burns on the walls thankfully.

Finally, this is what it looks like set up. I know this ha

s been a bit of a Martha Stewart journey and many of you have given up on this blog because of this not-so-manly, domestic entry. But I promise the next one will be about arm wrestling or eating spicy stuff or Oklahoma State football coach, Mike Gundy (I'M A MAN! I'M 40!).

Daniel

King of the Castle

With apologies to Seinfeld, the past two weeks have been filled with me feeling like royalty. People here in my new home treat me, their token, tall white friend they can practice their English phrases with in passing, as if I am some sort of king, smiling widely and graciously welcoming me into whatever home or restaurant or business they happen to be associated with.

So far I've met a few neighbors in my building. One elderly woman called me a "zhongguotong," or literally "a China hand." It's like what we'd call someone like Steve Nash, who is really Canadian, but we like him so much and hes funny, so we try to claim him as our own, since after all he is now an expert of US culture after living there so many years. I think she went a little overboard, but hey, I guess I'll take all of the praises I can get for having barely passable Mandarin language skills.

Many children have also come running out of their parents laps to say hello to the new "laowai," ("old foreigner" literally...its not really a cut down, but it kinda is). I politely keep my cool and am still pretty good at responding to them kindly. Hopefully I can keep that up for a long time.

But the thing that makes me feel most like a king here is my apartment. And when I say kind, I mean like a really manly princess. Thanks, landlord. Not only is it plenty big enough for me and my 2 roommates, especially compared to student dorms which often fit 4 sets of bunk beds in a single room, but the decor is set for royalty. However, I think our landlord didn't get the memo that American men aren't keen on having an apartment full of glittering things, especially like the light fixtures posted above. Yes, those are hearts and stars and crystal disco ball looking things that refract all sorts of harsh light all over my room when I turn it on. Additionally, there is a faux Victorian Era chandelier that was incorrectly installed in our living room and we fear that at any moment it could come crashing down like in an Indiana Jones film.

Overall though, I love this place. The location isn't really close to school, unfortunately, so its a nice 20 minute moped ride to class and to meet friends there. But right now, its a very sufficient castle, where we can relax and watch (legal...) DVD's, eat meals (sometimes...you know, if there's food here), and sleep soundly.

The last month with accompanying pictures

So now that it's football season, it means two things.

1. Turkey Bowl game planning against the SEC squad in November has started (as well as the obvious start to Turkey Bowl beard growth)

and

2. You get daily 50 person news crews at every football game reporting every minutiae of detail about every game from the NFL all the way down to Snoop Dogg's son's Pop Warner squad.

"Ryan Grant has a torn Anterior Cruciate Ligament and is lost for the season"

"His backup is Brandon Jackson and he went to Nebraska for college."

"His Uncle Jim taught him to play football when he was 8 in a cow pasture"

"Breaking news, Jackson's yards-per-carry average may be stunted because his left leg is .25 inches longer than his right leg."

Way too much information really. What happened to the good ol' days when you just pulled for a team and didnt know when star players and even key reserves were going to the bathroom or what they were eating for breakfast?

Anyways, with all the reporters writing during the middle of the week, a whole genre of lazy "Thumbs up, Thumbs down" styles of columns have been birthed. And since it's been a month since I've been able to blog (they are all blocked over here in Asia most of the time) and feel like there is much to say, I figured I'd do this and post some pictures of key moments in the last month.

Thumbs up: Our fantasy football draft with friends from high school. This is the draft board from that night. Toward the end, there was an actual trade announced "I trade Hines Ward for a 14th rounder and a 6-pack (of dr. pepper I think...) to be named later."

Thumbs down: Shooting at the gun range with my dad. I seriously could not hit anything that day, until we came to using the M1 Garand from World War 2 fame. I credit getting pretty good at Call of Duty on this one. Seriously, it came out of nowhere.

Thumbs up: Goodbye party from my friends in Durham. It was Settlers of Catan themed. The shirt was a gift from Josh/Jodes and the cupcakes were courtesy of Lindsay, Sarah, Melissa, et al. I promise I'm not that nerdy. It was a joke. Seriously, guys.

Thumbs down: not getting to pack my dog. She tried to hop in my suitcase, but unfortunately made it over the weight limit. If it wasn't down to her or winter clothes, she definitely would've made the cut. Also, I dont want her getting stolen here. Or worse...

Thumbs up: Getting to go to the LSU game in Atlanta before I left. Though we lost, it was a moral victory without most of our starting defense and first two RB's on the depth chart suspended or withheld. None of the LSU fans could gloat or even look us in the eye after narrowly escaping. And yes, they really do smell like corndogs.

Thumbs down: This picture found in Cary Towne Center the night before I left. So much to say, so few words to describe it.

Reading CS Lewis, Flossing and Blogging...

The great philosopher of our age, Mitch Hedberg once commented that his smoker of a friend told him that he didn't understand how hard it was to quit smoking. "Yes I do," said Hedberg defiantly, "it's as hard as it is to start flossing."

To me, reading is my flossing. To be specific, reading heady books by Christian authors in Mensa is my flossing. And actually, flossing is also my flossing, because its true that its difficult to begin doing and continue to do with the regularity needed for it take effect. In this analogy, flossing and reading CS Lewis are connected because they are things that I know I should do. Things that benefit me, improve my quality of life, keep my mind sharp (or teeth strong), and that ultimately I know will prevent laziness and the consequences of not doing such.

I have literally started "The Abolition of Man" no less than 4 times. And every time I read 2 pages at the most before thinking, "What in the name of Narnia does this mean?!" and then losing my place, re-reading the same sentence 4 times and then moving on without much of an understanding of what he is trying to prove. I really have no idea how people have picked out such profound quotes from his works because I always get lost and end up glazing over all the good stuff.

To extend Mitch's parallel of flossing/smoking, I normally start feeling very confident that my life will be better after reading 3 hours prior to when I plan to do so. But slowly, as the time I have blocked off approaches, I start to get jumpy and nervous. I look for other things to do. I think, "One game on the PS3, then I'll do it," only to become too tired to put in the effort. Now that I think of it, its the same feeling I have prior to making phone calls about support. It's nerve-racking and awkward, and guilt-inducing all at the same time. It's easy to think of strong gingivitis-free gums and a sharpened, worshipful heart hours prior, but then the moment comes and all that fills my head is how much it hurts, how no one else is doing it either and how I can get by with just brushing, watching the History Channel, or texting supporters.

And now that I think of it, blogging is the same way for me. So this is good. I started out just ranting about CS Lewis and his overly British, stream-of-consciousness writing style in certain works and am ending up vowing to at least blog more, even if it means it'll be shorter. Starting today. I can practically feel my gums getting nervous now.

Transition Offense

In my quest to relate everything into a sports metaphor, I've decided to return to my main M.O. and ponder some thoughts about some things I'm learning here at X-Track, our training out west that lasts most of this month and deals largely with transitioning to an overseas lifestyle, etc.

Most of our mornings are pretty packed, which is unfortunate now, because since most of us are more "international" than the rest of America and therefore find a lot of enjoyment watching the World Cup. Even if soccer isn't that interesting to us normally, the World Cup has brought large groups together just simply out of the fascination of what the enormous hornet horns are, the unison-jumping supporters of each country, and just how cultural differences can both be seen on the field and in the stands (also, in the local medias, as Slovene newspapers are ludicrously adamant that the US's third goal was actually a foul...) seem so different than our own.

Unfortunately, morning classes keep us from most of the games since that's when they are shown on TV here, but it does make you wonder about transitioning in what is now a "global community."

On one hand, you can make the case that cross-cultural stress and transitioning pain is almost non-existant these days. We grew up in diverse schools, often have ethnic friends, and many of us have already been overseas more times during college than some of our parents will in their entire lifetimes. Add to the fact that we have Vonage, Skype, email, twitter, facebook, and cheaper travel options for family and friends and you might be led to believe that going to Estonia today is like going to Texas 20 years ago (bad example, Texas is also a foreign country).

But there is something deeper going on that moves beyond technological advances and our teenaged environments that still makes a transition like moving overseas difficult.

As I watched a soccer match recently, I noticed that the British announcers would use different verbiage than their American counterparts who are used to commentating on other sports. Soccer analysis includes players "having conviction," (playing hard) "using good pace," (instead of "running fast"), "dribbling with ambition," (shooting, trying to score), and my favorite, "that keeper's all 6's and 7's!" (made that last one up, but hoping it will be said during one of these games).

But one commonality between Jeff van Gundy and Martin Tyler as they announce their respective matches is the importance of "transition offense and defense." The concept that you must succeed when the ball is turned over. You must keep the opponent from scoring on you after it appeared you had the advantage and you must also successfully score when given the advantage.

During another soccer match I saw, analysists noted that an entire team was built upon the idea of "counterattacking." It's counter intuitive really. Your whole team, even your goal scorers are reliant upon the opportunity of a turnover. You run the risk of stalling completely if the game flow is normal and there arent many transition opportunities.

The UNC basketball team has actually been built like this the last couple years where if we weren't able to get out in transition, we probably wouldn't be scoring a whole lot and might even lose. Ty Lawson went down and were were screwed.

Basically my whole point is that its a transitional time in life for me and my friends here. Where we live, who were are close to in proximity, what we eat, the language we speak, and the friends we make will all be new. God often disperses his people in the Bible. Which is why there are more Jewish people in New York than in Jerusalem today. In Jeremiah he tells the people not to put all their efforts into reclaiming their original homes in Israel after the Diaspora(s), but instead to lay down roots, build homes, start families, plant fields in foreign lands.

If I were one of the Israelites, it would be easy to see why this would be frustrating. Being an agrarian society, people were more tied to the land back then. You had more family farms for generations, and they were always inherited by sons and daughters. Really these people had their whole lives changed and that is always a difficult thing.

But the harder to notice side of this, and one that I doubt Israel understood and believed was that there was also opportunity in this transition. Opportunity to grow, to investigate their own sin, to grow closer to God, and to ultimately be a "light to the Nations" by actually residing IN the Nations.

Now clearly, both sides are not equal. One is more comfortable than the other. But you also have to wonder how the Jewish people profited from that 1st generation who left their hometowns and put down roots in Assyria and Persia. Would they have been moved to repentance otherwise? Would their children know God? Would they be lazier or overly content with the status quo?